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Sunday, July 18, 2004

FarK it..

Is it just me, or I'm going crazy..
 
Trying few days for me.. get home from school about 7 everyday is taking a toil on my mental health.. not to mentioned the fact that I'm thinking too much as usual. And the fact that I'm doing homework, which is quite taxing.. If only I was in arts stream, would be slacking like siao now, and As would be guaranteed. HmM, sometimes it's juz like that ya? Now James Lim has caught me, and I have remedial with him..
 
Anyway, fri night was a mix of emotions. Met Wx and Gx at 715 at HC bus stop, then got to Kallang at 740, when the concert juz started.. cut it a bit fine, but at least we got there.. Yh's fren Jason waited for us, got to thank him for that. Then, it was WOW.. never thought Yh was a dancer, but looking at him prancing on the stage was something the 3 of us would never dream of... SAJC's dancing, compared to AJ's, was more exciting, more adventurous. Maybe for different purposes.. Yh gave up weiqi for this, maybe it was a right choice; weiqi has given me nothing but sorrow. I went to NJ to build a team for the purpose of taking down HC.. 15 months later, I feel no joy, no emotion at my success.. my revenge was on my friends, taking them down was painful.. so the hatred I've been nuturing for the past year and so has been a figment of my imagination. Now that's its gone, I feel no purpose. But anyhow, this is about the dance ya, forget about weiqi.. 3 of us in school uniform LOL, then I saw Peigen and Yuhong, with a few of their friends.. Then during the interval, I saw her again.. I think I wasn't hallucinating or anything, because she looked up and there was recognition in her eyes.. then she turned away..
 
I can't really remember anything afterwards, except we went on stage to find Yh after the performance. He was ecstatic at our arrival, though Cm wasn't with us.. no change there with the 3 of them at least; they still look the same. Then I rushed home, not without walking a long way out due to lack of taxis.. after that played dotA, had a huge argument with Leo n Chun, and now I think I've scraped dotA for good.. not really anything, but Py, Derek and Velo, all little squirts.. want to play serious come lan centre we settle, don't lol here lol there.. all these senseless arguments about pride and such, who understands it? I juz want to kill them once and forget it forever.. fuse has been short lately, think I'm really going crazy.. all this talk about friendship and such.. Leo really wants to be the good guy in front of all of them huh? Well go ahead... forget about all this shit.. I don't really care about all these trivial matters anymore. Should have gone eat supper with Wx and Gx dammit.. Now don't really feel like going prom night also. I juz want to end this farking JC life and start afresh. If I had another choice, I would go poly or another JC. Definitely not NJ. Farking loser school who promotes VPs for fun..
 
Hope I saw the wrong person. Even if I saw the right one, who gives a shit. I can't do anything. There's nothing but a bitter taste in my mouth right now. At this moment I don't care about anything. Or anyone. 
 
 

_'Jx]- faded at 11:43 AM