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Saturday, December 18, 2004


I was supposed to blog this yesterday, but somehow didn't bother to do so. Guess Taiwan really took alot out of me; I'm still kinda tired now, and there's like what? 3 weeks left before I leave the life as I have known it.. I had a list of things I wanted to do, and none of them are even halfway accomplished... never knew so much could happen in such a short space of time. Anyway been busy lately, so this is my first entry for 7 days. And yes, I'm totally bowled over by the fact that I'm in Singapore again.

Phooey. But actually, seriously...

I really should do a recap for Taiwan, yet everything seems so blurred now. The tall mountains seem shorter; the streets have lost their colour.. but I'll give it a shot.

Things got off to a bad start. This time I swear I thought I saw her at the airport, part of travelling party.. if I hadn't been talking to her for a few hours on friday night I might have really believed my retina-torn eyes. Long hair, dark and slender, even the height was similar. For the best part of the next 6 days the shock remained fresh... this sounds absurd, but unfortunately I don't lie on my blog. I can't even lie to myself without feeling remorseful. So that's life... Anyway, back to the tour. The guide was friendly; I have a natural distaste for naturally friendly people. And guess what? My group consists of, other than a guy slightly younger than me in age, and my brother alot younger in everything else, purely GIRLS. All wearing tight jeans, skin grappling shirts and sweaters. If I wasn't so shocked initially things could have been described as "looking up". I wish I was a pervert.. I wish I could switched targets as easily as I can lobang Leo, Salas and gang.. The rest of the people were either too old or too young to be of mentioned. So at about 7 am in the morning, I was on my way.

One point to note: I slept half the time I spent in Taiwan. I normally don't sleep much at home, with the computer, television, books etc.. Even the tour guide remarked more than once "Ta you sui le (-_-)"' "

The Taiwanese guide was really the highlight of the trip; his knowledge was amazing. Literature, geography, history, politics.. you name it, he might not have it, but I won't bet on it. Visited villages, old monumental places, mountains, places selling national treasures like lingzhi and lu tai (deer infant) .. he kinda knew everything. There was one part, where we were examining old religious relics, and he was explaining the theory of the classic Journey to the West. I never really thought about it this way; Sun Wukong represents man's thirst for freedom and the potential for dominance, yet it is controlled by nature, such as Wukong is tormented by the highest order.. Zhu Bajie of course takes the cake; he comprises of everything undesirable.. Sa Shen is described most exquisitely: he is a piece of white paper, untainted, untarnished by all the evils in the mortal world... After examining all the relics and bits of history, one somehow feels sad. Taiwan and China are one; brothers, linked by blood ties no one can sever. Even the tour guide kept referring to himself and his people as zhong guo ren, with that wistful look in his eyes. Guess no one actually knew Chiang Kai-shek insisted on his bones being buried in China.. even the founder of the rebel country feels the blood of a million Han people running in his veins; why can't these stupid politicians just shut up and sit in one corner?

I can't recall all the places covered, but I know the mountains were surreal. One thing is, the streets were damn clean.. everywhere I went, the people were kind and considerate... I know the mountain people was one attraction, and there was this feng shui thing. The stupid woman there said I could never inherit my father's house because of the differences in our.. whatever that is... so I guess my bro's the lucky ass. Marble factories, pearl farms, and alot of ancient temples. That's about it. I know I spent many hours watching NBA on ESPN in the hotels.. Magic are superb now, and Dwight Howard reminds me of a certain Chris Webber. Hill's back man.. wish T-Mac was here for the 1-2 punch, but Steve Francis is not too shabby either.

I went to Taiwan with prejudice and bitterness in my heart. Now I understand.. at least I think I do. We can burn all the flags we want, scream a thousand curses. Yet at the end of the day, our skin remains yellow.

The hotels were terrible for the first few days, yet gradually improved. On the other hand, the activities got worse and worse.. The weather was nice and cool though. A few of my friends told me the shopping in Taiwan was great, Ximending and stuff, but all I can say is.. the toufu sucks man. The glories of Ximending are over, now it's the 101 building. Someone actually told me to enjoy it there, but I'm not a girl.. Speaking of the opposite sex, the girls were fabulous though, chic and trendy.. my cousin was correct, man he IS a pervert lol.. if only that girl wasn't on the same trip, things might have been better off. As in turned out, she was damn irritating and attention getting, and during the train trip she kept kicking at my chair.. want my attention? Unfortunately, wrong girl. Haiz.

Bought alot of stuff for everyone, but since not meeting the class girls anymore I guess I'll just give to some people LOL.. purchased this jade pendant, and I can't decide who to give.. just thought I'll get it for the future, since you can't get it anywhere else other than the shop I visited, at least without burning a huge hole in your pocket. It's deep blue in colour, and shaped like a diamond. Interested girls please e-mail me at jiaxuan86@hotmail.com and I might consider HAHAHAH. Anyway, guess I'll find some opportunity to give it to someone special.. but now's not the time. Some scholar or some shit in Taiwan said something about fate; that in your heart you will know whether the time is ripe anot.. as my close friend said, it's not the time to burden her now; she's going to college, I'm going NS. Preserve the friendship and hopefully it will bear fruit some day.. I'll probably tell her when I leave, something I specially vowed not to do. Darn, it's like some sad movie, and I'm not the one laughing outside the TV set; I'm the loser lead actor. A scene would be like this:

-
He walks up to (insert name). Looks into her eyes. Deeply.

He says to her, "I have to go now, but there's something I wanted to say to you."

She looks at him questioningly. He hesitates. Then, he holds out a wrapped gift. She accepts it, yet the words remained unspoken.

He says:

"Fresh like the drops of morning dew, beautiful as the autumn sunset. Graceful as a deer in love, lingering as a virgin's first kiss. To me, you stand above them all. Long have I gazed at your shadow, yet I feel the reluctance in the air."

He pauses.

"Perhaps.. perhaps if fate decreeds, I'll see you again."

Like how it first began, he turns and runs off, leaving her with her mouth open in shock, yet a light of comprehension dawns in her eyes. Looking down at the little parcel in her hands, a few words are written:

"It's not really love. But it's close."
-

Produced, written and directed by Jx.

I had this dream in Taiwan, so real I thought I could actually smell the scent in the air. At her void deck, I actually confessed, and she accepted.. I woke up so happy, yet the darkness of the room consumed me.. I can still remember her mesmerizing smile, the shy blush when I said "I like you." and then she said "I like you too.."

"I like you too."

How can four words bring so much happiness yet so much pain?

My dog has never been happier though. He's behaving like a good dog since he got back, and that's just freaky. Maybe my cousin seduced him..

I think I shall continue tomorrow, since my fingers are itching for some serious gaming.. still got alot of stuff to write. And I better continue on my novel; its way behind schedule.. Maybe the vodka will help.

Funny how I can receive so many smses in Taiwan, yet feel so lonely now.

_'Jx]- faded at 6:19 PM