Sunday, February 27, 2005
I juzt woke up due to a nightmare and I can't go back to sleep.. it's just too darn hot. You can actually feel the heat waves coming in from everywhere, and as your body cannot release the excess rise of temperature internally, it sort of accumulates. I feel like a hot water bottle right now.
Whole body is aching at this moment, especially the back. I don't think I'll ever pass IPPT this way, what with so many injuries.. a recourse looks on the cards. Wonder if the MPMSI wants people who have recurring injuries.. they are the military intelligence right? Means I'll get to handle highly-classified files and be snobbish about it. Wonder what would happen if I blogged all the data here... but seriously, I hope I can get in this vocation. Sounds exciting, and more importantly promises the prospect of a 9-5 job. There's this officer who told my SIT test detail not to go for a desk job.. according to him, I quote: ".. anyway you have to be in NS for two years. Do you want to spend the time doing a monotone job, or have fun outfield and actually learning something in the process? Also, what are you going to tell your girlfriend(s) and children next time? That you were a clerk *laughs* in the officer doing FILING?"
.. seriously, poll here. Who wants to suffer in NS when you can go home everyday? Honestly. Put aside your manly pride and gung-ho nature, and tell the truth for once.
*Silence*
There you go.
My "intellectual" argument with Teck was more than what I described in my previous entry. Now that I can recall it, the points argued were a little more complex than just plain religion vs science.. can't really comprehend why people take religion so seriously. I know since I'm a free thinker, I should just sit my corner and put a finger on my mouth, because I'll never attain any sort of "blessed enlightenment". The possibilty of me saying "God is with me" is close to nil, because I'm so prejudiced and and not "pure enough" what others "understand". Rather irritating sometimes because I've seen really nasty church people, and if you haven't noticed, more than half the convicts in this world worship some religion.
I've said this to Victor, Jiehui and now Teck.. although there is no concrete basis for the concepts of religion, there's also no major proof that religion is untrue either. I'm just stating my view, because 1)I'm a cynical sadist and 2)I don't give a shit about other's opinion. You can't really be so convinced about something you haven't seen, unless you will youself to believe, which in my opinion, is absolutely pointless. Like, there are always your parents to worship, because they are the ones whom you know truly love and protect you.. people like your grandparents watch over you, either physically or spiritually. I'm not saying loving Him is wrong. But if you say you love God more than your parents and kin, and that He loves you equally, I think that's just plain ungrateful.. I really detest the part where sinned people go up to the priest, confess and then the priest waves his hands and says "you're cleansed". Does that mean if we commit murder or rape and we feel some guilt, we are actually good people who can be saved? It's so illogical.. having a conscience is nothing to be proud of; it's listening to it and following the guidelines that matter.
As always, I stay by my stand that religion was used to cover up our ignorance. Many people will point out many unexplained things, and demand a plausible answer.. but the thing is, our ancestors screamed at lightning and burnt doctors on stakes. I'm sure as small, innocent children we used to see our teachers as a source of untouchable power, gorgons and gargatuans capable of passing evil verdicts with unquestioned authority.. now, even if the punishment dealt by my sergeant in NS is justified, I can still complain and burn his ass. I can sue the pants off any teacher who touches me. What we don't understand now does not mean it will stay an engima forever..
For close to 30 mins Teck tried to convince me regarding his view points. According to him, there is some goodness in this world.. there are people who actually care for others more for themselves. There is a small minority that harbours no evil thought.
I came out with this concept some time ago.. pure people are like white plain pieces of paper, so bright and untarnished. Evil people naturally are the the charcoal paper.. have you ever noticed it's much harder to turn the black paper into white then vice versa? The thing is, we as highly intelligent animals, are in contact with so many others constantly.. it's impossible to be prevent being stained.
Lastly, I too personally disagree with the Marxist theory.. but instead, why not take a look at the theories H G Wells brought up? Human evolution has only thus progress so far due to conflict.. if not for the wars fought and struggles for power, technology would never have progressed to this level.. the only reason why other animals have remained the way they are is probably because they don't see the need for fighting, at least on a larger scale. Normally it's the thirst for survival which provides the propelling force for advancement. Hence, technically it's impossible for us to ever have peace with each other.. sorry Teck, but that's just the way things are. This debate will never end, because there's no issue in the first place at all...Saw Qixian the other day, and his confidence seems to have shrunked. The whole Ninja company has been confined for 3 weeks, and there's more to come.. wonder how Jing Yin and Jin Hui are doing.Coming back later.. been blogging for 2 hours now, and I need to sleep..
_'Jx]- faded at 4:29 AM