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Saturday, February 26, 2005


I was writing along nicely.. and my moniter blacked out. AGAIN.

What a waste. I'm already damn tired as it is.. what with SIT test and Leopard company, and some other problems here and there. I was complaining and kaobei-ing beautifully, about round-abouts in life and stuff. But I guess now I'll cut straight to the point. Jumping here and there is akin to the issue I want to address.. there's no continuity at all.

I can't say it's a bad thing, because things somehow turn out better. I just want to emphasize the torturous start, the very beginning when one tries to settle in.. I know we never know what the end of the road holds, but I'm rather sick of that exact moment. Some stabilty would be nice. Like sometimes I wonder why I can't have the same classes in upper primary and secondary. Or same school.. must always go one big round.

SIT test with Leopard company was hilarious.. their OC night was totally unplanned, so to spice up the evening they had to call upon us. We sang a song with their OC and garnered applause from all four corners of the training shed.. but it felt weird. We were strangers in a rival company, with only that slacker Shaiful as a sergeant "looking" after us. Leopard is damn slack; they make Scorpion look so terrible. Can you imagine a NS company not doing any push-ups for 3 whole days? That's totally absurd.. the sergeants actually have to ask them to wake up 10+ minutes after the actual timing. If it was us we'll never see civilian life again. As for echoing intructions, the seven of us from Scorpion and Whisky can actually shout louder than the entire company.. and the officers STILL don't punish them. Me and Teck Beng were like "wtf?" constantly throughout the 3 days.. I don't think we'll ever get used to Scorpion again. But one thing is, Scorpion is definitely more welfare. Leopard sergeants don't really care for them, they just don't bother all..

Okay, so the round-about came good again. By missing my own SIT test, I got to slack for a few days. The SIT test didn't go well for me, because everyone, especially two *insert vulgar word here*s who tried to do everything, and shouted so loud no one else could speak. Bet the sir gave them high marks, so I guess I've lost faith in the army. Luckily by some freak chance I got Jieli and Aaron in my detail, as well as some very nice people. Sort of made up a bit.. but I really want to know now: is a good commander one who talks alot, or does alot? I guess it'a all a myth. The guy in my detail, Josiah, was a good leader, calm and rational, as well as a good planner.. but I think he too was overwelmed by the two wayang gu niangs.. I really can't stand people who act.. you can see one of them talk and shout, and at the same time glancing at the assessor. So farking obvious.. they should FAIL for interrupting the ICs.. and be spanked too.

I guess I know why Warren Liaw refused to let me take SIT test. It's damn physically taxing.. sprinting from one station to the other with SBO and rifle, not to mention a heavy, almost redundant helmet on your already pespiring head.. carrying the stretcher with my detail mate on top almost killed me.

Somehow our mini-company broke up.. just couldn't stand Jonathan's attitude problem anymore. So whatever comrade-ship we forged is now gone. At least Teck Beng is still there. Zhe Yuan and Gideon too.. always thought after what we've been through we would be united. But guess some people only think about themselves.

Had this huge debate with Seng Teck the other day.. he and I are selected for military intel, which I will try my best to get in, but I digress.. he was arguing about goodness existing in this world, while I was trying to defend my cynical outlook on life. Then somehow again religion came into the discussion, which I absolutely detest. How many times must I stress that religion is a farce? There could be a higher power up there, but turning to prayers is not a solution, neither does it explain anything we can't solve.. Speaking of Teck, I just realised how much I miss my section now. And there are barely 10 days left.. why is it always this way.

My third kor picked a fight, then tried to suicide. Haiz. I know girls might beg to differ, but the power you females hold over us, especially at this age, is overwelming. All my 3 kors have already kena-ed.. the whole family is watching me anxiously.. and looking at things so far, I think it's inevitable.

Like a fire balloon, the centre bursts into flames, floats up to the sky a glowing ball of fire.. then the wind blows the fire out, and the baloon lands on the ground, dead and unmoving, till someone lights it again..

There's only one matchstick, and it's not in my hand.

I really cannot take it anymore.. maybe wake up earlier tomorrow to continue.

_'Jx]- faded at 10:26 PM