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Monday, April 18, 2005


I can't deny that the start of this working week was one totally underserving of it's usual tag "monday blues". Everyone did looked exceptionally tired today, probably caught up with personal activities and, for some, more serious business; I know I couldn't keep my eyes open. Yet the events today were hilarious.. and sad.

I've never been close to Minghui, or rather more affectionately known as Ah Boy. So when he was absent today for the third day running, I was not overtly concerned.. and I regret say most of us thought he was merely faking illness. Derek, as his buddy, naturally called him to confirm his status. In the short space of a few minutes, I saw my section mate's jovial features freeze into a mask of shock and disbelief. Then we heard him say:

"Your father passed away?"

I know I shouldn't be writing this. But I just want to say, perhaps to ease my guilt a little, that I feel ashamed that I enjoyed today. There were several incidents which merit some mention.. and I admit I should have felt more for my section mate. I can't imagine losing my own father; despite his constant nagging and occasional bad temper, I guess the only way to put it, is that we all only have one Dad in our lifetime, and we should appreciate our fathers more, give them the respect and love they deserve. It was only just last night, that I mentioned to S-Han about singing the song "Numb" to my my father.. there's this line that goes:

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you

I guess it hurt him pretty bad. Maybe I am a disappointment to him, a chip off the old block that turned out to be entirely different material.. And I can't make amends now; I'm pursuing my own dreams. Sometimes I just feel so small and selfish.. why don't I like physics? Why can't I be an engineer like him, follow his path, be the son he hoped I'll be.. maybe in some way we are all disappointments to our parents.

Condolences to the Ang family. Hopefully the sum of money raised by the section can be of some help.. They say time can heal wounds; I sincerely hope it's true.

I realise it's totally inapproriate to write about anything else.. on any other day this would have been one of the most colourful posts ever. It will have to wait then.

_'Jx]- faded at 10:04 PM