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Sunday, April 17, 2005


Is an interview something that only makes sense to the interviewers themselves.. because I admit I'm left totally clueless by this afternoon's proceedings. The questions regarding my future career choices with regards to the course I want to undertake was of course anticipated; yet asking me about my personal interest and being does not, I feel, in any way help in the assistance of the judging of my potential. If potential is what they want, since ability has currently failed.. However, one thing is crystal clear now; if there's any reason they want me in NTU, it's because of my weiqi skills. They want the pole position back.

I guess they want a repeat of last year's miracle.. the thing is, there are some things in life that just happen; beyond one's control. It doesn't have to be a singular incident, neither does it have to possess any element of pre-awareness.. If you've watched Sci-Fi movies which, amongst the characters includes an eccentric and brilliant old man, somehow the introduction to him includes how his breakfast is prepared.. It always starts with the alarm clock. The clock hands tug at some string which in turns on the kettle.. then the steam from the kettle pushes some saucepan, which falls on the stove, touching off some mechanism and cracking two eggs simultaneously.. without bringing in the coffee, what I'm trying to say is that, it was a chain of events, not just a one-time, one-day effort..

And, having mentioned the physical aspects, we haven't even broached the outskirts of where the heart of the issue lies.

I wish I had the choice, to say "I'm sorry. You've got the wrong guy." It appears that I don't. Just hope they'll spare me a place.. I feel that I didn't do too badly, though I could have elaborated on why I liked Anne Rice. As a novelist that is. So many people vying for so little spaces.. hope I hold in my hand the ticket they don't. Yet, somehow the ticket doesn't seem to be the real deal.. 50-50 then.

To two of my best buddies, I know of all people I'm one of the least qualified to say anything.. yet like a sail boat, make the best out of it when the wind comes calling.. Let the air fill the sails, let the vessel bring you wherever you want to go. But when the North wind fails, it doesn't mean anything. Eventually the East gale will come along; the West and South waiting their turn. It's only a breeze.. enjoy it when it comes; don't miss it when it goes away.

Some PSC scholar has had his blog ripped to shreds. Sharon Phua did that to me last year, though it's peanuts compared to what this poor dude had to endure.. anyway in truth, I guess most of us are racist, some way or another. That's where tolerance comes in, doesn't in? We've been citing tolerance as a virtue, repeatedly preaching on the values etc.. what are we tolerant of anyway. So everyone admits it exists then. But the main issue is, every word I'm typing now could be use against me in the future. That's so not safe.. aren't blogs supposed to be special places where you write what you one? And I'm very certain most of the stuff written is in jest. I mean, if I write now that I hate Liverpool and I think Benitez sucks big time.. are you going to send a whole truckload of thugs to beat me up? Or sue me because I'm an immature going-to-be-nineteen-year-old shooting his mouth for the wrong reasons.. or perhaps you don't agree.. or you're just trying to cover up some things.

The night bus is fast.. ten minutes from Orchard to Bishan is no mean feat. But seriously, lanning till 3am is really the bottom line. It's totally out of point if you put it that way. Besides, I lanned with Salas in the morning. It's certainly more interesting listening to him talking about his antics at his workplace.. the mapping of NYP was hilarious. Can you imagine him running about, drawing something in his hand? And he used to complain about walking to the bus stop.. Nearly all the guys have gone in already. Kiamin, Marcus and Weixun last week, while Salas has his turn this friday.

Godfrey Cass got his lady in the end. Nancy must be blind.. why can't she be too? And I'll be damned if I'm anywhere near Cass' low-life standard..

Stories and fantasies ought to be banned. Seriously.

_'Jx]- faded at 7:00 PM