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Sunday, May 01, 2005


I'm really tired out. It's been a hectic long weekend.. and yea, NS men don't use long weekends to rest. It's probably an exaggeration to say we are aren't unlike caged beasts, released to create a reign of terror and chaos, but when you think about it, we do love long weekends. It's like a bless relief from hell.

I had my first really enjoyable lan session for a very long time on Friday.. In fact Leon and me went positively crazy, nearly risking the wrath of some very threatening gangster-wannabes. It's never wise to laugh at punks.. no matter how brave and strong NS men are made out to be, without our M16s we are rather ordinary. Throw in the code-of-conduct rubbish and we're probably free pickings. Indulging in suicide missions and jeering at the opponent isn't the most mature and sensible thing to do in any place at any rate; I would have thrown something at myself. But it was fun. While Guoping was working himself in a frenzy.. seriously I've never seen anyone mug dotA. Gp's got to be the first.

A series of miscommunication led me to Bukit Gombak on Saturday. Where I saw Leo and Reubs for the first time in a long time. So many things that haven't happened in a long time.. but apparently Reubs' church thing was on Sunday. So it was rather a wasted trip down to the west. For no reason whatsoever I had to drag Reubs down to Raiders for another lanning session with Miza and fevanova.. and this turned out to be a typical day; we left pissed and bewildered.

I then made my way to J8, where I did something constructive for the first time in a long while.. what a weekend for first.. anyway, I really can't find any excuses for not trying my best anymore. If Teck can put in so much effort to teach me, the very least I can do is to work for myself. Only acts of selflessness around one can determine how selfish one really is.. and I do feel ashamed.

Soccer session with the OETI people was a mixed affair. I was pretty much enjoying myself until the sole of my right boot came off.. and I played like crap after that. This Adidas predator set was an item stolen from Alphis a few years back, and I didn't really think I valued it a whole lot until yesterday. But the few moments which I really performed was really magical.. every cross came off with perfection; the ball seemed stationary even as it was rotating with furious speed on the soft touch of grass. Some time later, together with some outside friends, we proceeded to challenge some old-timers who had arrived. After all, we are young NS men, full of energy and explosiveness. At least we were still convincing ourselves after a 1-3 reverse.. Very evidently our fitness level isn't as excellent as we like to think. If an old fat man can outrun me constantly throughout the match, something is very wrong with me. Or we could take it that the chap took steroids, which I feel is a more likely explanation.

Perspiring profusely, I decided to rush home for a shower before meeting the two guys for a church party. Ended up taking a cab, which took half the money in my wallet and gave me an empty feeling for the rest of the day. Reubs promised me fabulous looking girls, and I actually believed him.. that's really stupid. But he didn't go too wrong; there were one or two potential ones and a few other hopeless cases. And I think they liked me with contact lenses; I'm sure I'll totally bowl them over with my specs.

Up to now, I'm still wondering why Mrs Yeo, a.k.a Reuben's mom, hasn't run after me with a parang yet. Upon stepping into Reubs' semi-detached house, I was half-expecting torture machines and mass weapons of insignificant destruction, the insignificant obviously directed at me.. I mean, I was the person who tried, and thankfully failed, to corrupt this innocent chap. Without me, he'll probably be on his way to England now. Soccer, lan, escaping from lessons, not doing homework.. I am the Devil himself I guess. An inexperienced one, but that's good enough.

Hence feeling guilty I didn't turn up for the class gathering. It's so noble and fresh an excuse that I feel better already.

Writing all this was torturous by itself. It's so.. not nice. But I've done it out of obligation to myself and I don't want to look at it. Hopefully something will turn up soon; FM93.3 isn't that helpful.

_'Jx]- faded at 11:03 PM