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Friday, June 24, 2005


I found myself frequently gazing off in a distance, a swarm of thoughts rushing through my head. Not that I had much time to daydream. Just wondering about civilian life. How my family was doing. What were my friends doing in their respective units and bases. Of course, the handphone remains very much a plausible alternative, but unless there's a video camp attached to virtually every corner of Singapore, the outside world remains shrouded in light. It's so glaring.

The feeling was there during the BMT days. It's not a terrible sensation or anything like that; I think lost would be a better word. Or probably longing?

Definitely longing.

Keat Hong camp isn't that bad or anything. As I mentioned in the previous post, it's a new place. One can't really complain about the facilities; there are courts for nearly every kind of sport. People-wise is never really an issue. There are nice superiors, screwed up superiors-wannabes, bunk mates that laugh and screw you.. the usual stuff expected. I've given up trying to insult an extremely slow corporal, or for that matter physically humiliating him, for the simple reason that he doesn't understand. The skull's too thick for me to do anything. I was told that there was this Armour trial for soccer players. Martin, who was one of the top ITE players, opt not to go. Mr Corporal went. Despite the fact that we call him "40's best player", the corporal's an absolute imbecile. After he missed the empty goal 4 times, I gave up trying. The worse thing is, that he doesn't run, and he shouts at people.

My bunk mate has got to find out one day why he was ostracized in TCHS and then NJ. No one can be that stupid, or thick skinned. I wonder how he actually had the cheek to ask Calvin and Zihao to pay, in cash, for berets he bought using credit. That's shamelessness for you. Look for Mousey; I refuse to taint my blog with his name.

I've met the people in Archer company. My IC and 2IC I can't really comment, since my contact with them is limited. I do shudder when my IC approaches.. My upperstudy Zi Jian is nice in a washed-out way - meaning we can't really communicate. It's a pity, because this sergeant looks like a really nice chap. He probably thinks I'm a moron; I have to admit I think he's simple-minded and occasionally over-cocky. Joseph is my driver, and he IS the Joseph, boyfriend of my P6 classmate Magdalene.. I've long since given up gushing about how small the world is, but this isn't exactly a pleasant surprise. It doesn't really matter that he spends most of the time chatting to her; what Joseph does, I don't care. Boyfriends do talk excessively to their girls. I'm comfortable with the fact that she's my childhood friend; never really liked her in the first place. It's just that my driver has now, unwittingly, opened the door I firmly shut, possibly and now proven not, to be the last time. I like Joseph; he's friendly and impossibly even-tempered. It's his relationship that gives me the endless opportunities which I no longer want. But now I do again.

Why is it that every time, the timing's always wrong.

Just barely an hour ago, I was struggling with a really drunk Chu Wei and not-so-drunk Zihao. The BBQ gathering of 40 SAR was a farce, so we resorted to drinking. Joseph chose to chat on the phone, and even ran away into hiding.. I'm wondering how much a guy can really talk to a girl about.

Why did I even bother washing the entire recovery vehicle with him.

One good thing is, the few of us new-comers are fitting in smoothly. No longer intimidated by sergeants who throw their weight around.


Enough about Army stuff. I guess it's really pissed me off. There's probably plenty more to write.

~

Xiaxue and SPG are in some kind of war. It sort of escalated during my stay in camp.. In all seriousness, I think people who actually follow this debate and participate in the discussion should get a life. Why care about two teenage girls who can't keep their lives to themselves? It's like The Truman Show. I don't know either of them personally. Do you? To put it plainly, why the fuck would I care what Xiaxue does today, or which guy SPG screwed today. Or the other way round. And the most amusing item is, why do the two celebrities complain about our apparent disregard for their feelings? They asked for it.

Are we supposed to assume they have feelings? Or are we supposed to assume that we should care?

This topic in question does not warrant a conclusion. Let them screw each other. Wanbao shouldn't be blamed since it is a screwed-up rag in the first place.

~

Spurs won. I'm not sure if I wanted to know that. I'm not sure if I want to know anything at all.

_'Jx]- faded at 11:40 PM