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Thursday, August 11, 2005


Anyone fancy a job that is worth S$480 per hour?

It's not that difficult. Firstly, you gotta wake up at 0853 when SAF requires you to report before 0900 hrs. Then, you have to really take your own sweet time and wash your face, brush your teeth, and shave your hairy chin (if you have one). Run down, flag a cab, make sure it runs through all the expressways so the fare adds up to roughly 10 bucks. Lastly, and most importantly, you've got to show attitude and not give any good excuse to the sergeant-in-charge, so that he gets infuriated and gives you 3 extras straight away. It helps when you fought with the sergeant on the street soccer court some time ago, like last week.

Since one extra, when you do it for someone, is worth 50 bucks, so that's 160 for 20 mins work. Where else can you find a job so easy, yet pays so well? You get your weekends eaten up in the process too!

.. who am I kidding.


I went to the guard room for the rubbish dump keys yesterday, and my RP senior was standing there. He said hello with an evil grin on his face. Sensing something fishy in the air, I ran off.

J J ANG volunteered to accompany me on the return journey. Being the dim-witted half-ass I was, I agreed.

Hence, another screaming, shrieking extravaganza ensued. What an embarassment. I should have known, but Joseph always has that stupid smile plastered on his face, so how was I to know..


Anyway, a continuation of the last post's entry on dreams seems in order. But by some coincidence, Reader's Digest chose to come out with Tom Cruise and a scientific report on dreams. Being the establish magazine it is, of course whatever I have said or will say doesn't carry and weight anymore. In short, I'm pissed.


There's this documentry coming up on Central. It's about a gigantic experiment, to me possibly the biggest ever. A project spanning 20 years, on 20 separate infants. Possibly we can finally find an answer to the perennial question: do newborn humans actually possess different thoughts and feelings? And if destiny does exist, can environment alter it? Imagine: 20 different upbringings on 20 innocent children. It's so cruel, so inhuman.. like objects for testing. But I'm all for it. Anything can happen. Imagine taking a gangster's child, and placing it in the care of some college professors. An entire change of a potential future.

Like the girl who talked in reverse language because she was brought up that way. Paul Jennings isn't such a bad writer, you know. He does have interesting ideas.


Attitude vs character. I use to think there was no difference. Apparently there is. Most of the people I've asked have placed attitude in the BAD category. Actually almost everyone told me to concentrate on fixing the fuel filter and shut up in case I drink engine oil again.. but anyway, Joseph says I have attitude. Cal says I have both, and immediately added that attitude is a subset of character anyway, obviously implying that he too thinks I have more attitude than I should have.. Nice way of avoiding too.

He's a guy with attitude. Sounds nice, at-ti-tude. Until the diction of attitude is thrown out, and by any standards, it doesn't sound very complimentary.

Attitude: An arrogant or hostile state of mind and disposition.

All my friends, mostly AJ buddies, have repeatedly stated she has the A-word. Cold and unassuming. Maintaining the kind of poise only school flowers possess the traits capable of. I had no idea how many people disapproved of my pursuit.. maybe rather faint whisperings beside my ear. I'm grateful, even though I have attitude problems, that my pals were frank with this issue right from the beginning; even more amazed when even disapproving, they gave me support and advice throughout the entire experience.

Anyway, I can't commit myself to anything. Just not that sort of person. Probably would appreciate a girl present as and when I need one, fulfiling the duties of a girlfriend when I want one, and disappearing when the need disappears. I guess the percentage of finding one such female humanoid in Singapore is close to 0%.

I remember one incident when I was sending her home. Halfway through my pal called and said they were waiting at the lan centre for me. And on reaching the bus stop, I didn't continue walking her back, but instead rushed off in a cab.

There's something wrong which I did in the incident up there. But I can't tell. Yet.

She's got attitude. She takes things for granted. She's not the most desirable girl on this lil' island that just turned 40. But I guess we all want things we can't get easily. It's weird; doing stuff when you know it's not right. Maybe we do convince ourselves that some things are better for us when deep down inside it probably doesn't matter. Something like, I don't like orange, but since you give me apple and refuse me an orange, I simply have to get the orange. It's not the matter of desire, rather the resentment and spite that materialises automatically. Joseph sometimes jokes that since both of us have AP, we'll probably work this out somehow. I'm thinking a really short-term relationship, with alot of spatting and struggles. But somehow, I think I might have enjoyed it, even knowing an emotional heart-break lies in wait. Flawed character perhaps..

*Gasps* Did I say character? Or should I have called it attitude?

_'Jx]- faded at 10:14 AM