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Wednesday, August 10, 2005


Just back from Raiders. Walked some considerable distance with Sl, each occupied with a constantly vibrating phone, both painfully trying to wiggle out of identical uncompromising situations.. Honestly if my life's going to revolve around gaming I ought to just lie down and die. Been looking at the same little characters scrambling around, stunning then killing, then again stunning and killing.. If there was any excitement in the first place, I'm sorry to say it has somewhat taken it's leave rather discreetly. Or gone AWOL.

If I haven't mentioned this before, gaming brings the worse out of people. Especially guys. I'm not sure how you can actually lose any civility playing Maple Story, but lately every DotA game I've played seems to end off on bad terms between the two sides.


Chat-log of a bad-blooded match:

Beng1: u all tyco one. wan rm la. rape ur asses.
Jx: kp wad. lose den tok so much.
Beng1: ..
Beng2: dun sia lan ok. u damn noob lor.
Jx: watever la.
Jy: lose dun kp la.
Beng1: knn. wanna meet at entrance anot.
Jy: win dat time nv say anithing. now lose den rm. loser lor.
Beng2: we settle outside la.
Jy: ya la. we scared arh.
Beng1: or toilet.
Beng3: come com 93.
Jy: dun wan la. we lazy.
Jx: wan come com 42. dun take ur time hor.
Jy: zZz.
Beng1: fuck. u wait there.
Jx: walk somemore.


For that case that guy really came over. But I guess the sight of 4 NS men sitting there ate his courage. So he just asked for a rematch, rather politely. Which we obligingly raped his ass again.

I'm wondering if there's a need to actually agitate each other over a stupid game.


I'm not anti-nationalistic, or anything like that. But having missed every single NDP parade since 1986, save the 1997 compulsory excursion, the urge to watch patriotic peeps perform for the country was non-existent. Wasn't even really that enthusiastic about running the relay, though I confess the thought of appearing on national telly did make me think twice about the option.. As usual, I left it to peer pressure. And most of us went home ecstatic. Fabian's spastic smiling face told the whole story.

Army's just about the cheapest labour you can ever find. Even Banglar workers cost a few cents. If there's any service that actually pays you and works it's ass off, please tell me.


In BFG, Roald Dahl mentioned that dreams were compounded by many little snippets of thought. I'm thinking there's actually more truth in it than I previously derived. For example, if you've been, or rather I've been (since I don't know what anyone's thinking except myself) worrying about a major obstacle in my life, eg. climbing the low rope in SOC, vertically upwards, I'll be having a dream about climbing a mountain, or something close to that.

There was this period of time not so long ago, when I was actually guilty about the way I treated her. Or rather the disinterested way in which I tried to win her heart.. anyway, the dreams came about almost every night. All with her in it. All with me treating her well. All with her smiling at me. But the thing was, all the scenarios included other stuff on my mind. I waited for the bus to my camp, and in one dream I met her at the same bus stop, waiting for the same bus which never materialised.

Is there a difference between our conscious and sub-conscious mind? Two separate entities.. that's scary. Imagine two souls fighting for the same body. But strangely, there seems to be a compromise between the two; maybe different time-shifts.

Just think about instances, when you were actually awake, but felt that you had no control over your own actions physically. Like everything was on auto-pilot. Maybe that's how being possessed feels like.


Kinda dead now. Continue tomorrow; I'm not halfway finished yet.

_'Jx]- faded at 1:37 AM