An unusual streak: It's been FIVE weeks since I left my house during a weekend. No soccer, no lan, no pool.. it's just such a bliss to be stuck at home.

Barely slept 2.5 hours last night in what proved to be a very lucky guard duty. Distinctly recalled Herman gleefully waving goodbye with the words "have a great weekend!", grins from Calvin and Roy. A mere two hours, faces of happiness turn masks of derision.. just too coincidental to be true. Just too bad *shrugs*.

Activation meant I would have missed the matches at the tournament. But, maybe we could have won champion. Another "what if", floating in my storage box; enough of them already. Found a few TCHS brothers along the way. And that's my weekend duty. I'm sorry I'm too tired.


Jerk It Out by Caesar


Wind me up
put me down start me off and watch me go
I'll be running circles around you sooner than you know
A little off center and I'm out of tune
just kickin' this can along the avenue
But I'm alright

Coz it's easy once you know how it's done
You can't stop now it's already begun
You feel it running through your bones

And you jerk it out
Jerk it out

Shut up hush your mouth
can't you hear you talk too loud?
No I can't hear nothing 'cause I got my head up in the clouds
I bite off anything that I can chew
I'm chasing cars up and down the avenue
But that's ok

Coz it's easy once you know how it's done
you can't stop now it's already begun
you feel it running through your bones

So you jerk it out
jerk it out

Oh this is just terrible. I've just slept my Sunday away again.

And the rude shock that greeted me - i-speak.blogdrive.com

Another Xiaxue on the rise. Just one who writes in more refined language, tries to be a political genius.. she should write gp textbooks, if all else fails.

Cheers. Next week then.

Spending the last three weekends at home is a dreadful affair, especially since next week is guard duty time. On a saturday, where all the events meant to stretch a few weekends all pile up on the same day. It's just ironic, so compellingly coincidental. And on a low last note, my toe is snubbed.

Missed soccer this morning, which is the second successive session I've not turned up for. Surprisingly, a dull ache. I hadn't expected that. Everything's been just shades of black and white lately, and this is as close as I can get to a splash of colour.

When football transcends words... Haven't had that feeling for a long time.

The thing about being a mecenary, is that you've got to be ready for up-and-downs by yourself. That's the essence of being in a team; you handle everything as a group. Because there's bound to be understanding and chemistry already nutured, there's no need to light a sudden fire with stones on the roadside. As it is, I often find myself in the position where I shiver in some corner against different assortments of rain - some pelting so hard I can barely see through the fierce droplets brimming with kinetic (or is it a mixture of potential? I digress) energy, some just sheets of lines coming down from the sky, some drizzles not worth any attention whatsoever.

I've played with better people. Okay la, with Alaric that's maybe not true. Definition of better? Faster, better ball control, skills in kopi bags.. Alaric's probably not in the top three for any of the categorys I've mentioned, but then again, people who are ranked here are seldom nice to play with, even lesser against. I concede that it's probably his presence that binds our play so seamlessly. Jianwei and Kwok Lei, just average players, but when average players play to their strengths, it's a killer. There's no point when everyone fights for the limelight; mutual acceptance, people, that there are role players and support players. Then again, who am I to comment. I'm probably the way I am, because I want to be a Riquelme, and not everyone wants to be a Forlan and Senna.

Come to think of it, no one wants to be a Forlan or Senna. Probably Jianwei.

I remember Phil Ball, the Spanish soccer correspondent for soccernet.com, once stating emphatically that the reason why Riquelme couldn't settle in Barcelona was just the way he played. He isn't Ronaldinho, perhaps on the same plateau, but just at the chin. He inspires, only when he feels like it. Sometimes, he drives past defenders with ease, laying off passes which make mortals like us gasp and say "how did he do that?". He wants control of the game, even when he's miles away. In a friendly game, teammates will just laugh, and say "that's him." But I don't want to be a Riquelme in a serious match. I don't want to constantly look for my Forlans, Sennas and Sorins. I don't want to be seated on a wave, going up and down at an inconsistent basis.

It just like some sort of untapped power; you need someone to focus the energy, another few to feed of it. Just that, who's the someone?


It's probably just mindless gibberish. But I'm as serious as a semi-drunk dude can get. Uncle Melvin's married, and the wedding was.. I can't remember.

When we were all in P6, 21 years of age seemed a long way off. But eight years have gone by, and I guess today's class gathering had was more significant, more powerful, in some sense.

If only Mdm Low could see us today.

Young gents we are not, yet ladies they were. Just a little while ago, the tips of our noses would have barely scrapped the mid of our waists now. But the ongoing rushing vessel of time.. it doesn't stop, does it? Stealing our innocence and bright, starry gazes, replacing them with wistfullness and maturity hardened by lessons and mistakes brought forth.. such a compelling moment, fitting that little words were exchanged yet acknowledging friendship, friendship that withstood Time herself. It was enough.

Didn't believe it then, and even now I feel there must be some mistake, because all the girls could remember me. It's a sort of tribute a low-profile personality doesn't deserve at all, especially since I was only in the class for one short year. Tried to hide my astonishment and emotions with the pretense of forgetting who they were. And I failed, because every name traced a face, as did every greeting brought out a smile.


Hey.. we 're still here. Still together.

It's the season for change. First my handphone, then my wallet, now my specs because I unintentionally smashed them on Tues. I've barely had them for 6 months, but yep, they're gone.

Tanks can swim. Omigosh, they're 13 tonnes, but they can float on the water. It's quite inconceivable how an M113 with 10 ppl inside can float like a rubber ducky. I'm gushing quite badly, but I can't help it. It's just so.. incredibly stupid.

After a nightmare week, it's 4 days of complete rest.

I think that the problem with most emotional tussles, is that they can never be totally resolved. Once pride is placed above all, it becomes goddamn difficult to reach any compromise. I don't suppose anyone wants to be on the losing end, do they?

I'm wondering why people just can't help each other without incentives. Why some things that shouldn't be said, well, are said without regard for each other. Why two opposites can't accept each other for who they really are, why we must alter for people who just can't take our little quirks with minimal degree of tolerance. I mean, generosity, people. I don't have to cater to your whims. I don't have to show you face just because I see you as my friend. I don't have to be nice.

Maybe I'm just tired and angry 'cos it's been a long week.

YAY! ACTIVATION! DRAGGED FROM THE HAVEN OF MY SLUMBER!!



Wtf sian la.

At this moment, I've just recovered from a momentarily blip of total idiocity. It's not really a permanent damaging sort of loss, or a devastating rock in my sanity. Just a dollar and seventy cents down the drain. I'll rather take the coins and toss them at some ugly pimp; at least there'll be some excitement, be it detrimental, or just plain hilarious.

If you really want to know what I just did.. I cancelled a ring tone download when I already paid for it. It was Wang Lee Hom's Kiss Goodbye, not really a fantastic song, and I only chose it 'cos I didn't trust Greenday enough. Wah I'm damn pissed la.

Decisiveness! Another new year resolution gone down the drain, flushed away with the rest of the sewage. At least I'm firm about being indecisive.


I'm wondering if I could have spent this long weekend in a better way. In a more productive, enjoyable manner. I mean, how can 24 hours just pass by without saying hi, then turn about to pet you on the shoulder, after which it kicks you in the butt after you spin around and see nothing but what's in front of you.. And you realise, after three turns, it's almost time to book in once again. Okay, so I did play soccer on Sat, swim today, meet up with old pals like Marcus. Even went trekking with my family this morning at 8am. Such an unearthly hour, yet time is so short. And great, our dear CO gave us half day off tomorrow so he could activate us. Sensed something was up, but it's not the same as actually knowing. Sian.

There's a 6A class gathering coming up, and there's the issue of whether I should turn up. Feel like giving it a miss; there are too many things to cope with to catch up with one's past.


"+++There's another layer within the layer that's shown... My true colour +++ *Hatred, Jealousy, Pettiness, Hypocrisy, Anger,*"

Come on man. Who uses MSN nicks like these? Fucking retard.