The floor is stained green. Like swamp murk, seeping slowly, stealthly into the cracks and lines of a parade square. Like the fresh blood of a monster, unleashed upon us, bleeding, salivating, menacing the fragments of a weary imagination. It's not a nice green, it's too bright. It doesn't look real, nothing remotely close to natural.

The lonely figure looks at me.

"Are those tears? Or is the rain?"

He replies. "I don't know."


The arrival of ATEC Stage 2, after months of trepidation and dread, it's finally here. Everyone in camp has been working their socks off, sweating it out, reaching for the impossible goal of an early book out. And as things turned out, the guys booked out at eight plus, a five hours increment from what was originally promised. No surprises there.

There's one very major flaw of the AHM system. There is simply too many people running, so many that the flow of one's momentum is seriously affected.

Anyway, 21 km completed with the minimal of fuss. The ghost of last year's disappointment exorcised finally.

Okay, so I missed out on the chance for a quick seventy bucks. No issue here.. what do you expect? with Rio Ferdinand on the team. In these tricky situations, you either go for the ball with full intention, or you don't go for it at all. Don't make a half-hearted effort, and end up embarassing yourself. As well as make two poor guys lose their quick buck. 5-1 to Man Utd; I'm sure it couldn't be 4-0 or 5-0.

The pain of loss has not yet subsided, but the perennial issue has to be addressed: Is this team going to stay together?

It's been seen before. 'Dream teams' are formed, only to be broken up because reality doesn't fit the illusion. It's such a devastating experience, when the players come together, with the expectations elevated sky-high, when everyone seemingly the perfect pieces of a jigsaw of the most beautiful portrait. The colours so vibrant and rich, that you can't believe it when the canvas crumbles to dust, the paint drips, the red staining the floor in a pool of blood. Like someone has just died. Stabbed right through the heart with a bundle of lies and deceit.

Barcelona had Hristo Stoichkov, Romario, Josep Guardiola, Ronald Koeman and Jose Mari Bakero in the '94 team, and they didn't win the Champion's League. All stars in their own right, yet the teamwork wasn't as strong as most would choose to believe.

Staying together might change all that. We do need a team name.


16km run is no kick. Seriously.

It's a dreadful feeling, when you've gathered a group of people just because a brainwave hits you, and you can't wait to carry it out. You want to play soccer, you want to win, and you know you can't do it alone. You ain't got the influence, the top-notch skills to venture as a individual. The people closer to you aren't the ideal kind of teammates really desired. So you get a bunch of aquaintances, bring everyone's hopes sky high, and then perform absymally when the situation demands. It's just selfishness, self-centredness, and by the time you realise, it's all been said and done; there's no turning back.

You turn and toss at night, the mind still active, still searching for that elusive answer that is slowly slipping away. From the edge of reason, to the brink of insanity, just cracking your head for a number, a word, a phrase, something that resembles something you understand. Something solid you can grasp on so that you don't get blown away by the growing frustration.

And it's a intensely painful, when you've decided on something, yet another keeps holding you back. You think you can forget her; its been what? seven months since you last saw her smile. You know it's impossible; she's long gone. She's got her own friends, the bunch of guys ogling and staring at her back wherever she goes. You can't catch her when she goes dancing, shopping, singing into the night. She can't understand what you're saying most of the time, 'cos it's a same and different language. She's from Venus, and you're from.. Earth. Just a normal average guy. You're just another colour in an artist's tray, just another sparkler in a fireworks extravanganza. She ain't going to forget you, she hardly knows you. She's the main actress, you're just a prop. Forget about holding her hand, getting close enough to smell her fragrance, seeing the little freckles on her nose.. not unless you want a one-way ticket to dreamland. She's beautiful, cute and so alluring. And you can't get her.


Fly away baby. Stop dreaming. Forget the pain. It probably ain't worth it.

Final score was: 12-13

Review:
It was the maiden match, they had 15 to our 8, played three hours under the hot sun on their home court. But after the pointing of fingers, let's do a throughout analysis.

Why we lost:

1)Team coordination - devoid of a basic game plan. The shape was never really there. Communication was sparse, if any at all. Often passes went astray.

2)Substitution - the other team did a rotational policy. The team played on with the same people throughout the three hours of sweltering heat.

3)Defence - failed to settle. Too often caught napping, with Leo facing two or more attackers at the same time more than once. No true full backs to cover the wings. Bob is better suited for centre; Jx was a non-factor. Both drifted up front too much, and looked out of position the whole match. Taffy is not a solution to the keeper problem.

4)Attack - Zp is rusty. Missed more than half his chances. Kanu lacks the necessary aggression as a main target man.


Look on the bright side? 12-13. Lost by one. We were actually leading by two goals in half an hour, the thirty minutes when everything seemed to really come together. That was before fatigue set in. Tay is a monster by himself. Together he and Zp still remain the lethal force as promised before the match.

What do we need? For one, a stable keeper. Taf's reactions seemed to have diminished, while Bob's talent is wasted as a keeper. We'll have to dip into the transfer market for a safer pair of hands. The defence is a big question mark. Bob should play as a holding midfielder, in front of Leo. Flanking the main centre back, we need two quality full backs. As an attacker, Jx is out of position, hence a Salas may have come up with the solution. A solid left back has been mentioned, and if fulfilled, may cover the defence well enough.

Tay played the free role, in a supporting striker's role. Rather, he was everywhere, and that's the biggest asset. Maybe he should be the destroyer, not Bobby. Balance could be the key, and Zp, once regained form and confidence, should hold his own up front.

Substitutes are crucial. So far there's Kanu, Xianghui and Marcus. Salas comes on board, possibly bringing his two friends. At least two more players are required.


Outlook: It's not that bleak. If everyone holds together, play more together.. who knows? All that can be said, is that this defeat gives a taste of how teamwork remains the issue above all.

This is the beginning of something good. And I guess everyone has to put in effort.

Revenge on the cards. Only the question of time.

I hate transitions in life. Everything's running along smoothly, and someone's just got to come up with a bright idea 'cos he's got nothing to do; the meat's rotting, the milk's curding, and the bread's going stale. But what does he do about that? "It's about improvement, and moving forward". Bullshit, they all say the same thing. You only move forward when there's the need for improvement; you don't completely smash a tofu out of shape and then hope it tastes just as good. You don't add sugar to a perfect dessert just so you can put up a big, colourful notice that says 'NEW RECIPE! NOW 20% SWEETER!'. Makes no bloody sense.

ORD in roughly three months, so it doesn't concern me that badly. It's just that.. I've had a change of 3 2ICs. None of them save the first was overly competent, but they were still pillars of strength in various different senses. It's all about teamwork and relations, none of which I have truly experienced. Kenneth was the closest one in that capacity, and now even Heng is gone. Between Martin, Desmond and Wei Dar, I'm not sure which is the lesser of the three evils.

And it's back to the BLUE beret. Now officially converted to the service side, I wish they had told us at the beginning of this year. Seems a little too late, after all the combat shit we've done.


Since there's most probably going to be no time on Fri, here are the probable line-ups.

(Nameless)
Taffy (keeper)
Leonard
Yuxian
Bobby
Jx
Kanu
Zhipeng

Subs: Salas, Xianghui

NIE Legends
Jarrel (keeper)
Alaric
Kwok Ley
Yeow
Derrick
Kenny
Adrian

Subs: Renxin, Jianwei, Chupei, Kyle, Darryl, Moo, Jianhao etc


Somehow when I look at this.. just can't stop a grin from spreading on my face.

Singapore's 41st birthday. Just felt that I should mention it, since I've been living here since forever. It's the last time at the National Stadium, and I don't see the point. Perfectly fine for so many years, are the changes absolutely necessary?

National day tomorrow! Supposed to have a sudden surge of nationalistic pride, but it just didn't appear. Not that it has showed its face last year, or the year before, or even further back.. but one can always hope. Alfian Sa'at I am not.

Case of ironies: Tay's on board definitely. But the first guy we tried to contact, dear Mr Zhipeng, has gone M.I.A. The man to suggest 12th of August, the dude now exercising his right to pangsey.

You know, I don't think anything would have cheered me up more. It was just 10 mins after a 12 km run, I just had a stitch. My legs were cramp. I had to face the prospect of travelling home without a bath, and I'm wasn't too happy about it.

Then, you came along and said, "I've got Tay."

Thanks buddy.