must get my money back. from those who owe me. didn't want to at first, thought i could wait and let you guys slowly take your time. but no, it had to be pushed. a few more days to allowance, and that's only 400. tuition only 180.

i realise, i must be a hard guy. and that's difficult.

i don't know.
are all the words you can give me
even though my heart is sinking
my vision is misting
and you don't care at all.

i don't know
what is it that is happening around me

words left unsaid,
the nonchalence in the air
the little things going through your mind

i'm sorry i said,
why should i be sorry
it's the things i don't know
that could be happening
and i don't know

i know you say
why you want to know
and it's alright
it's just because

i don't know
whether you mean
the things you say

i don't know.

exams are over, holidays have begun. yet, i miss studying for the exams. i really do.

beats thinking empty, nonsensical thoughts any day.

he did apologise. but i've got this all too familiar motility - that of being taken for granted. it's not a nice feeling, but there's really no point denying, nothing to be gained or maintained by covering one's eyes with a black cloth, seeing the shadows dancing in pattern not pertaining to the lyrics of a gay song.

the closed door. the absence of slippers. an eerie chill of silence.

and the sinking feeling that no, things weren't going to be alright. time was already tight, the important person was waiting impatiently. and my dear roommate, whom i thought one of my best buddies, had just throw the lid right upon my head. and admist the clang, i hear his laughter, the high pitch shriek of mirth.


everything was tight as hell. but managed to pull through in the end.

and i'm happy. hopefully someone else is too.

wonder if i did enough, or i overdid it, or i didn't do anything at all.

a flower waiting for her first touch of spring
she prayed not the soundless wind ring
as the snow flakes rest gently upon her petals
white as snow she is blissfully blossomed real
the tears of an angel glisten at her feet
and gently, she tumbled unto sleep
oh so fragile it is, all that of beauty

it's the exam stress. the assignment stress. a whole load of other stress.

HL101 and Genes R Us on wednesday. it's going to be one hell of a rough ride, especially with the stupid bio module. i know i s/u-ed it, but this doesn't justify failure. hope wai kien is dying from his cockiness.

pimple outbreak due to bad diet and even worse sleeping routine. and it's just the pure exhaustion. mentally it's been a dream; physically a nightmare. always thought that mind overcomes matter, but now i guess it's proven: the body has a say too. added with the stress overload, the situation has become almost a love-hate scenario.

maybe the grades are wearing me down too. what a difference a month makes. from straight A student now scrambling for a 4.0. maybe even a 3.8 would suffice for this month. straight drop in the curve there.


it's the stress. of not being able to say the things i want to say.

there's something wrong with me somewhere

it takes alot to turn a good situation into bad

maybe it doesn't, but it still takes something

and i managed it. somehow. and it hurts.

to know. and feel. that the spirit is broken.

and i couldn't care less to patch it back.

and i shouldn't care less to patch it back.

two weeks to change the influx of As, into Bs

and to make a clear goal littered with obstacles

to ask or not to ask; the perennial question

what a difference a fortnight makes