this is very sad. i'm feeling absolutely depressed as i am typing this. but at least there's a recollection of how this blog came to being. how i miss venting feelings, even if this doesn't feel remotely natural anymore.

hard to sleep now, with some shit snoring and making weird sounds. seriously getting my nerves wrecked. should be used to it by now, but it gets my nerves every night, more and more. just want to take my chair up, smash his head, get it over and done with. it's the same every night. if only reuben wanted to come over; hell, i'll even take jieli if he doesn't snore. but it's just too late. now it's not even the issue of egoism, or even philosophical nutsacks; just utter derision and hatred, even. my sleep is precious.

at any rate, tomorrow is chem in society. i've done more than people who actually s/ued the damn subject. but i guess that's just guilt, if anything. should be fine; i've done all the test papers, read through the slides. just need to stay calm.

three papers in three days. phe-ee-eeewww. that's exactly the word to describe what a fucked-up feeling. shakespeare, followed by tamara's film and lit, then deadly drama. irritating.

can i say that i'm doing better now in year 2? it's nearly half the career of an ntu lit student. from the B- geraldine gave me, it was an A from the list of A-s last sem, courtesy of bede scott. anyway fucker's started snoring again.. but shakespeare essay on tues. hope it bodes well. if not i will just die.

i miss my mom, my dad, my home, even my bro and dog. this is sentimental bullshit.

min is sleeping i think. as the cold, cold dagger plunges through my heart again, i wonder if i'll ever be truly happy. and i really would like to plunge it through the fucker's heart. snore snore snore FUCK!